Navigating Addictions:You’re Not In It Alone
My clients with addictions tell me one of the hardest parts before getting help is the feeling of isolation. They see their chronic habits can affect everything, including their relationships, finances, well-being, or their ability to manage their lives. On top of all that, they feel alienated from the people around them, even (and especially) […]
Stop Trying to Do it All: Dropping the “I’m amazing at everything” Mindset
When I was in high school I was hanging out with my friend Aaron and he said something like “You’re always so positive about things. I love that about you.” For a few short hours, I felt fantastic. It was the best feeling to have someone stop and really ‘see’ me and appreciate me. And […]
“Go crazy, then come back” Letting Go of the Stigma of Being Emotional or Losing Your Way
I created today’s video to point out how normal it is for people to get emotional, lose their bearings, or lose their way in life. I share about a teen who found out someone close to her had been lying to her, was extremely upset about it, then felt ashamed for being upset. She’d always […]
For Teens: Why it Helps to Trust Yourself (and Life) Even when You Feel Lost
When I was 16 I got fired from my first job. I was hurt and ashamed. I briefly considered keying my boss’s car in that long walk across the parking lot. What made it worse was the two guys I worked with not only didn’t get fired, but they were given business cards that same […]
How Teens can Find Freedom from the Inadequacy Trap (“Comparison is the Thief of Joy” Part 3)
Last month my 15-year-old client perfectly described a scenario that I think we all grapple with at some point in our lives: “I have these moments, whole days sometimes, when I feel amazing and I do amazing. On the (tennis) courts, I’m in the zone, beating players way better than me. When I’m studying I […]
The Spiritual Payoff of Staying Focused on Your Own Lane (“Comparison is the Thief of Joy” Part 2)
In an earlier video, I talked about the habit of comparing ourselves to others and what a distraction and happiness-killer that can be. I got so much feedback I decided to create a Part 2. In the first video I talked about the enormously disruptive and emotionally taxing effects of comparison on parents trying to […]
For Teens: The Sneaky & Misleading Effects of Doubt & Insecurity: Breaking the Spell of Imagination
Do you ever wake up in the morning to the memory of something you said or did the day before that you intensely regret? And the dread is so uncomfortable you have to move around or get up in order to escape the feeling? It seems to center around social interactions for some reason – […]
Comparison is the Thief of Joy”: Parenting without the Distraction of Insecurity, Pressure, and Ego
Last night my friends and I were reminiscing about our first iPhones. Initially I’d been resistant to the idea of Iphones for the same reason everyone else was. They were ridiculously expensive, excessive, and I figured it was a trend that would come and go (shows what I know). I finally caved and bought an […]
Dating and The Magic of Leaning In: Giving Relationships a Chance to Spark
Last month I read an interview with an actor that was single and dating describe how hard it was to find a meaningful relationship. He’d date, but commented that a dating was basically just looking for red flags, assessing things he didn’t like, comparing them to previous relationships, and being disappointed that the chemistry and […]
A Little Patience and Faith: All We Really Need When We Lose Our Way (and sometimes all we have)
One of the things you can count on in life is the fact of change. Even when things are going well, like a career or a relationship, either life changes or we change. Or both. And it doesn’t have to mean something went wrong. We grow out of interests, what matters to us changes, or […]