Stop Trying to Do it All: Dropping the “I’m amazing at everything” Mindset
When I was in high school I was hanging out with my friend Aaron and he said something like “You’re always so positive about things. I love that about you.” For a few short hours, I felt fantastic. It was the best feeling to have someone stop and really ‘see’ me and appreciate me. And […]
“Go crazy, then come back” Letting Go of the Stigma of Being Emotional or Losing Your Way
I created today’s video to point out how normal it is for people to get emotional, lose their bearings, or lose their way in life. I share about a teen who found out someone close to her had been lying to her, was extremely upset about it, then felt ashamed for being upset. She’d always […]
For Teens: Why it Helps to Trust Yourself (and Life) Even when You Feel Lost
When I was 16 I got fired from my first job. I was hurt and ashamed. I briefly considered keying my boss’s car in that long walk across the parking lot. What made it worse was the two guys I worked with not only didn’t get fired, but they were given business cards that same […]
How Teens can Find Freedom from the Inadequacy Trap (“Comparison is the Thief of Joy” Part 3)
Last month my 15-year-old client perfectly described a scenario that I think we all grapple with at some point in our lives: “I have these moments, whole days sometimes, when I feel amazing and I do amazing. On the (tennis) courts, I’m in the zone, beating players way better than me. When I’m studying I […]
For Teens: The Sneaky & Misleading Effects of Doubt & Insecurity: Breaking the Spell of Imagination
Do you ever wake up in the morning to the memory of something you said or did the day before that you intensely regret? And the dread is so uncomfortable you have to move around or get up in order to escape the feeling? It seems to center around social interactions for some reason – […]
Creating Impact with Teen Clients: Learning the Art of ‘Agenda-free’ Listening
A few weeks ago I got to see some of your faces on the webinar I did with Dr. George Pransky. Teens and young adults often have very busy minds. Something that might go in and out of our minds in a matter of seconds, hovers in their thoughts for days, weeks, months…and the problems […]
Helping Foster Kids (and all kids) Handle Unknowns and Stress with Less Self-Destruction
Today’s interview was originally created for parents and practitioners supporting foster kids that are spiraling down or getting into trouble, like skipping school, getting into drugs, or acting out. I’m sharing here because all kids and teens work the same way. Like foster kids, on some level all kids and teens face uncertainty, insecurity, anger, […]
Making sense of ‘extreme behavior’ in Teens, Tweens, and Young Adults
I recently had a therapist who’s worried about her teen client. This client spends most waking hours under her covers. She dropped out of the school play, two sports, and stopped going out with friends. She mentioned another young client that gets so angry playing video games he’s broken two Xbox controllers, a tv, and […]
Quarantine, Close Quarters, and Getting Along with your Teen
Parenting is a funny thing. We clearly have the instincts for it because chickens and sloths do it without the help of books, blogs and coaches (that we know of). And yet so many people find it to be the hardest thing they’ve ever done. One of the reasons is that there’s no formula. The […]