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Your Kid is 21. Are You Still Doing Their Dishes? How to Reset the Ground Rules
If you have a kid in their 20s living at home, and you’re still doing all the cooking and cleaning, it might be time to rethink the arrangement.
Whether your adult kid never moved out, or has moved back home, the rules of living together need to change. They may still expect the same level of support and freedom they had as teenagers, but that doesn’t mean those expectations should continue.
But adult kids don’t necessarily recognize that the household rules have changed and should change. That’s where parents need to step in and lead the conversation.
“Having a more “adult” set of standards for kids still living at home is genuinely in-service to them. It’s not just about making your life easier.”
Whether it’s contributing financially, helping with groceries, cleaning up after themselves, or being more considerate of other people in the house, it’s reasonable to expect more from someone in their 20s.
Having a more “adult” set of standards for kids still living at home is genuinely in-service to them. It’s not just about making your life easier. It’s about helping your kid recognize that their role in the family, and in life, silently changes at some point.
Effectively resetting the ground rules involves having a few sometimes-awkward conversations, but without creating unnecessary conflict, and striking a balance between being supportive and expecting more.
A little bit of thoughtfulness and growing pains for both of you will not only prevent you from festering and frustration, but will help create a kid that’s more independent, self-aware, and ready for life out there in the wild.
That’s what today’s video is about.
erika bugbee
I’m a global coach who works with teens, individuals, couples, and practitioners that are open and motivated to change.
