Helping teens and adults navigate stress and uncertainty with more confidence | Training practitioners to join the mission
When Working Hard to Feel Better Wears you Down: A Different Way Forward
When times are tough it’s normal to focus on what you want to stop feeling: anxiety, insecurity, loneliness, fear, or self-doubt.
But typically the harder we work at getting rid of those feelings, the more self-conscious and entrenched we get.
Our minds do better moving toward something positive rather than trying to avoid or get away from something negative.
That doesn’t mean ignoring your problems or pretending everything is fine.
It means intentionally focusing on areas in your life where your mind can relax, be at peace, and where enjoyment is actually within reach.
It’s like the roses in my yard – if I focus on keeping them healthy and strong, they fight off the aphids so I don’t have to.
That’s how human thought works too. We have natural strength and resilience – grow that and you’ll find more natural immunity to suffering.
Your power and strength comes from finding your enthusiasm and ability to enjoy and engage in life. Trying to control your weaknesses and struggles will only drain your energy.
Focusing on what’s wrong with you and your life will undermine your natural resilience and make you disheartened, discouraged, and overwhelmed.
Instead of constantly monitoring yourself and wondering whether you’re doing life “right” you can get interested in how to participate in your life such as it is right now—even when it isn’t exactly where you want it to be.
Your power and strength comes from finding your enthusiasm and ability to enjoy and engage in life. Trying to control your weaknesses and struggles will only drain your energy.
Sometimes, the way forward isn’t working harder to feel better. It’s finding something meaningful, enjoyable, or inspiring to move toward.
That’s what today’s video is about.
erika bugbee
I’m a global coach who works with teens, individuals, couples, and practitioners that are open and motivated to change.
