Helping teens and adults navigate stress and uncertainty with more confidence | Training practitioners to join the mission
Pressuring Yourself to Live up to Your Potential: A Stress-Inducer with No Actual Payoff
Yesterday on my drive to Costco I made every stoplight. I didn’t hit a single red light.
Maybe this is a sign that my world is too small but it was exciting enough that I told the cashier. She had her own ‘made all the lights’ story.
Sometimes things come together perfectly in a moment like that.
But nobody expects to make every stoplight all the time just because it’s possible.
Yet when it comes to our own human potential, there’s an idea out there that we can somehow find a way to live at our best all the time.
I know there’s people out there saying it’s possible, and maybe they know something I don’t.
I know that someone that’s typically self-conscious and uncomfortable in social situations can find himself feeling easy and relaxed with no insecurity.
That’s what’s so mind-blowing about the power of thought.
You can be insecure one moment and open and present the next, with no change in your circumstances, personality, your past, your diagnoses, or your brain chemistry.
But just because you have the potential for those ‘perfect’ moments doesn’t mean you can just manifest them or pressure yourself into feeling open and present.
It doesn’t work like that.
Our spiritual lives and the creative power of thought is not something we can control. Sometimes we can easily drop intrusive thoughts, clear our heads, forgive someone, or relax on a date.
But just because we can do it sometimes doesn’t mean we have the power to do it all the time. Just like making all the stoplights.
Just because you have the potential for those ‘perfect’ moments doesn’t mean you can just manifest them or pressure yourself into feeling open and present
Sometimes life comes together. But making that your new gold standard will only create pressure to control a system that is not in our control.
If I have a thought that I can live up to my potential all the time, I’ll feel persistent pressure from that moment forward whether my theory is true or not.
That’s how thought works.
So we can create a feeling of pressure using the power of thought, but we can’t manufacture feeling easy and relaxed.
We can’t bully our spiritual lives.
That side of life is a mystery. And more important, there’s a transcendent intelligence behind life that is beyond our own intellect. It doesn’t need our help.
What brings us closer to our potential is having genuine organic insights about the power of human well-being and the principles that help us understand that power. Read or listen to materials that bring you insight, spend some time in a reflective state, or find someone like me to engage your mind in that direction.
In the rest of your life, when you’re relaxed and easy in a social situation, or it’s one of those super-productive days, be grateful. Enjoy it. The way you would when you make all green lights.
And when you’re struggling, be humble and forgiving of yourself, the human condition, and the fact of natural human frailty.
All those feelings are within your power and will bring you a nicer spiritual life without any pressure or bullying required.
That’s what today’s video is about.
erika bugbee
I’m a global coach who works with teens, individuals, couples, and practitioners that are open and motivated to change.
