In my youth I was a big-time procrastinator. Typically I’d start writing a paper at 10pm the night before it was due. 

It always struck me that once 10pm hit and I had to sit down and start writing, it really wasn’t that bad. I’d get into a zone of focus and creativity, and the dread and resistance would disappear. 

That’s what I notice about hardship.

People spend so much energy trying to avoid having life go wrong. 

They spend a fat chunk of their daily lives over-planning, worrying about worst-case scenarios, laboring over decisions or avoiding them so they don’t make the wrong one.

Then one day, like the guy sitting behind me on the plane, your wife divorces you and moves across the country with your son to be with her family and new boyfriend. 

So you uproot, follow your kid, and take a massive pay-cut, only to find yourself living somewhere you hate with no friends, sparse contact with your kid, and depressed.

Four long years later he’s not only recovered but is far happier than he was before he moved. He’s relaxed, he enjoys time off, and his road rage is gone.

This was just a random dude on the plane. If you blur the details, we all have a story like this. We’re going about our lives, something big and terrible happens, we flail around in misery, and at some point we come out the other side a better person.

Once the growing pains of hardship subside, we somehow shed our old skin and a shiny new one seems to formulate. We’re all born with the ability to adapt, pivot, and evolve in response to the hardships we face. It’s a spiritual fact.

Where we differ is how long it takes us to regain our focus and presence of mind so we can listen for what to do. And that depends on how long we hang out in the upset before we shift into gear and start adapting.