Helping teens and adults navigate stress and uncertainty with more confidence | Training practitioners to join the mission
Want your Teen to Listen and Let you In? Stop Over-Spending your ‘Relationship Capital’
When it comes to parental concerns around things like screentime, vaping, dating, bad grades, or mental health struggles, you want to be able to give your input and help steer the ship.
After all, you’ve been around maybe half a century and they basically just started being in the actual world in the past few years.
But if you’re like most parents of teens, your feeling of pressure or desperation to influence them is typically met with dismissiveness, avoidance, hostility, eye rolls, or maybe the worst ones – silence and isolation.
As you’ve probably discovered, parental influence doesn’t come from logic, rules, or having talks.
The x-factor in getting your teen to let you in comes from something that’s deeper, less tangible, and yet very simple: your ‘relationship capital.’
“Whether you know it or not, you’re already spending your relationship capital.”
What I’m calling relationship capital is basically a metric that captures the level of trust, respect, and credibility that you’ve built with your kid.
And I say it’s something you’ve built as a parent because it’s not something you’re entitled to just because you provide for them, or because you’re older and therefore you know more things.
If you try to meddle, or make demands, they’ll shut down, tune out, or go underground. They hold most of the cards.
And whether you know it or not, you’re already spending your relationship capital.
In this video I’ll give common examples of things parents do that build relationship capital, and what quietly drains it away, often without you noticing.
Nagging, lecturing, explosions, and arguments can cost parents more than they realize. But with even a teensy amount more awareness and intention, and bringing more moments of transparency and honesty can pay dividends for you and your teen.
That’s how you build a confident independent kid later — by building relationship capital now.
Click below to watch.
Need some extra help getting through to your teen or young adult? Book sessions with me or join my upcoming webinar series in February 2026 called ‘Is your Relationship with your Teen or Young Adult Tense and Stressful? How to Hit the Reset Button’.
erika bugbee
I’m a global coach who works with teens, individuals, couples, and practitioners that are open and motivated to change.
